Jack the Monkey's Revenge
by mr.crusty
Summary: What the ending should have been!


Jack (the Monkey)'s Revenge!

Disclaimer: I do not own this movie.

The moonlight shone down on the skeletal forms of Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbosa, who were dueling furiously. Jack tossed the coin he had stolen from the treasure to Will, who was very confused as to what was going on. Elizabeth stood behind the young apprentice, also quite baffled at Jack's actions.

Suddenly, Captain Barbosa pointed his pistol at Elizabeth, who screamed. Jack immediately pulled out his own and fired.

Barbosa grinned. "Missed. And even if you had hit me it wouldn't have mattered. You've been saving that bullet for ten years and you wasted it."

"Not wasted," Will said. He had been shot. He collapsed onto the gold.

The curse was lifted and Jack and Barbosa were now mortal once again. They dueled even harder now. Elizabeth screamed and fainted, not for the first time.

On the ship, the British were amazed when the skeletons began to turn into people. They killed all of them and rejoiced at the winning of the battle. Norrington realized that his beloved fiancé was gone and he jumped overboard to find her. He hit his head on a piece of gold. The people on the ship waited for him to surface, but he didn't come back up to them.

Nobody was really very upset at the fate of the commodore, especially Swan, the father of Elizabeth. "Phew," he said to the crew. "I was afraid my daughter would have to marry that jerk. At least now he's dead. He was a very strange person. I would have rather had her marry you, Fred."

Swan turned to one of two stupefied men who had spoken to Jack Sparrow about the _Black_ _Pearl_ before he had been captured and put into prison. One of them, Bob, scratched his head. Fred grinned stupidly. "Did you hear that, Bob? I'm going to marry Elizabeth!"

Meanwhile, Jack Sparrow wasn't doing so well in his duel against Barbosa. He tripped and fell over, and Barbosa pointed his sword at Jack's neck. "Ha ha ha," he said with a crazed look in his eyes. "You are finally beaten, Jack. And this time you cannot escape. I can't believe you ever fell for the trick I played on you when I first met you. I pretended to like you, and you fell for it! But I have always hated you, Jack. And now you shall die."

Jack the monkey was right behind Jack Sparrow. Thinking Barbosa was talking to him, the heartbroken monkey grabbed a golden-hilted dagger from the piles of gold and killed Barbosa.

Jack Sparrow sniffled. Instead of thanking the monkey for saving him, he took a huge golden bowl and placed it over him. The monkey was trapped. Then, Elizabeth looked up. "Huh?" She saw Jack. "You killed Will!"

"Me?" Jack said, pretending to be surprised. "No, I was trying to kill Barbosa, and I missed and hit the wall! The monkey behind me killed Jack with a pistol he found! But I've gotten rid of the monkey and that idiot Barbosa."

Elizabeth's eyes moved to the figure of the captain lying on the ground. "You beat him?"

"Oh yes. Easily, too."

Elizabeth started crying. "I miss Will," she wailed.

"I'm sorry. At least now you can marry somebody else."

Suddenly Elizabeth got a dreamy look in her eyes. "Yes," she said with a smile. "I can…"

Jack thought she was talking about him, and he smiled. "Come on. Let's get back to the ship."

They got on the rowboat Elizabeth had used to get to the island and rowed off towards the _Dauntless_. When Jack squinted out, he saw that the British had won. _Darn_, he thought. _Now I won't be able to captain the _Black Pearl_. Oh well. At least when Elizabeth wants to marry me, I won't get hanged._

They reached the ship and got on. "What of the commodore?" Elizabeth asked her father, looking around.

"He fell into the water. I guess he got eaten or something, because he hasn't gotten back up. Sorry."

"Oh, it doesn't matter," Elizabeth said with a smile.

"What happened to Will?" her father asked her.

"Shot by a monkey."

"Ah. Pity."

"Yes."

"I know you wanted to marry him."

"I didn't really like him. I just wasn't sure if my one true love liked me or not."

Elizabeth turned to her left. Jack Sparrow smiled at her. "Oh, but I do," he said.

Elizabeth didn't hear. She walked right past Jack and stared at the two British soldiers Bob and Fred.

"You love Fred!" Swan cried. "I knew it was so!"

"Ew," Elizabeth said with a disgusted face. "I don't like Fred. I like _Bob_."

Swan was crushed. "B…Bob? But no…"

It was Bob's turn to grin stupidly at Fred. "_I'm_ marrying her, not you."

Nobody had seen Jack Sparrow's crew that had followed him to the island escape on one of the lifeboats. They rowed to the nearest ship and took over it. "We sail for the _Black Pearl_," they cried. "Those British would have left us in the prison to rot! Kill them!"

Back on the _Pearl_, Jack Sparrow cried as he was put in a cell. Elizabeth, who was busy arguing with her father about whether or not Bob was better than Fred, did not protest to the prospect that Jack would soon be hanged. Then he saw the keys to his cell. They were in the mouth of the parrot that had belonged to one of his old crew members that escaped.

_Not again_. Jack pulled out a moldy cracker and waved it at the parrot. "Come here! That's a good parrot." But the parrot wouldn't come.

The _Black Pearl_ arrived back at Port Royal. Everyone was arguing with one another and wouldn't get off the ship. Jack Sparrow was still trying to get the keys from the parrot.

Jack Sparrow's old crew had sailed right past the _Pearl_ to the Isle de Muerta. "Oh darn," the woman who considered herself the captain of the ship said. "We missed them."

Meanwhile, the monkey had escaped from his prison. In monkey language, he swore not to rest until Jack Sparrow was dead for putting a bowl over him. Commodore Norrington swam to shore and found the monkey. He rubbed a bump on his head and found Will lying over the gold. He shook him.

Will woke up, clutching his chest. "Ow." Then he remembered everything. He looked around. "They're gone! Jack Sparrow…I'll kill him! Let's join together and get him!"

The monkey squealed in delight. Using his dagger, he wrote in the dirt, "He put a bowl over me and left me to die!"

"He shot me!" Will added.

"He could have jumped into the water after finding out what happened to me and risked his life to rescue me!" the commodore agreed. "Let's get him!"

The three managed to kill every person who had been Jack's old crew. They took their ship and sailed for Port Royal.

All the arguing at the port had stopped (except for the argument between Elizabeth and her father). Everyone left the ship, and Jack Sparrow was dragged out and sent to the gallows.

Elizabeth won the argument. She asked Bob to marry her and he accepted. They got married in two seconds, finding a priest on the street. They decided to have their wedding ceremony be the hanging of Jack.

Swan was furious at the marriage his daughter had chosen but realized he could do nothing about it. He decided to promote Fred, who he preferred, to commodore, and gave him Norrington's old sword, which had been left on the ship.

Jack Sparrow stood closing his eyes. A noose was put around his neck. He knew he couldn't get out of it this time. Swallowing his fear, he opened his eyes and looked at the hangman, who grinned at him. It was Bob. Elizabeth said she would help her husband hang the pirate.

Jack smiled feebly back. But right before Bob could kill Jack once and for all, a voice rang out. "Wait! It is not fair that you kill him!"

It was Will Turner.

Jack smiled. _I shot him and he still defends me. What a loser. Oh well. At least now I won't be hanged._

"Huh?" Bob said stupidly.

Swan decided to take matters in his own hands. "He is a pirate! He is condemned to death for his actions!"

"Of course," Norrington, who was behind Will, agreed.

"Then why do you oppose his hanging?" Swan asked, confused.

"I don't oppose his hanging," Will cried. "I _said_ it wasn't fair if _you_ killed him. After all, he shot me. I think I should do the honors."

"Go on ahead," Elizabeth said. "I didn't know he shot you."

Will walked over to where Jack Sparrow was. Jack rolled his eyes. _Curses. Foiled again._

Will hanged Jack. Later, he went on to become captain of the ship _Black Pearl_, with the monkey Jack and Norrington (who gave up his high position, having found joy in being an expendable, unimportant crewman) among his happy crew. Swan decided that Bob was awfully nice and was happy with his daughter, who was happy with her husband. Fred, who's last name was Perry, became the best commodore ever to sail the seas and later decided to become an American. He then visited Japan.

And so they all lived happily ever after, except for the ones who died.

THE END


End file.
